Have you ever noticed that when you hang with a certain group of friends, you spend more money than with others?  There may be a small bit of pressure to take out that credit card or open up that wallet with one group more so than with with another.  In this period of time, where money is tight for most, is there something to say or do to still be included but not feel the pressure to buy???  Why do we feel such pressure to always say yes and to be included?

Well, according to research by Harvard University, it’ s just human nature!  We are ‘pack animals’ and friends do affect many of our decisions, including whether to spend or not.  So what’s a girl to do?

One very simple response is just say NO.  Although you’d like to attend, if you can’t afford to then don’t. If, for example, you’re invited to attend a birthday celebration or shower and just can’t swing it at that time, get with the honoree and arrange for a one to one dinner at your home or something a bit more minimal such as meeting for coffee/tea or catching a movie together.  The idea is to celebrate THAT person and you can do so without incurring an exorbitant cost.

Another thing to do is establish rules within your household as to what your budget can be for such frivolous items and keep to that with the support of your family.  You want to go.  You don’t want to be left out knowing everyone else is having fun…so plan a distraction at home with your loved ones.  Make it game night, go for family bike or car rides or simply spend that quality time together.

Then there’s the option of just being honest with those friends.  Let them know that now is not a great time to spend but you’d like to enjoy the evening, could it be toned down a bit or could you just contribute what you have available towards the group purchase, rather than the often set amount.  If they are your true network of friends, they would understand.  If not, then it may be time to search out another group in which spending isn’t at the center of its togetherness.  Either way, make your time together with your friends less full of pressure and more about the content of the time you share.