So often we think only derogatory thoughts about ourselves.  We’re too fat.  Too old.  Have too much cellulite. You know the rap.  We become a society of self deprecating women.  Who needs enemies when we hate ourselves to much?  Well I say enough is enough!

We need to gather together as women and stop this madness. We need to talk about building body and self confidence and how to inspire our young proteges to do the same.  Here are some steps to take  in how to renounce self hate for good.

1.  Know that the women on the printed pages have been altered, air brushed, cropped to look as good as they do.  This is the norm of the industry and has been for years.  Rarely is a woman photographed in the media as she naturally is and when it does happen, it’s touted as a ’special feature’.  So realize you could never be ‘that’ person because she usually doesn’t really exist.

2.  Competition among girls/women has got to stop when the conversation goes towards, ’she’s the prettiest, the skinniest, has the best bod.’  When you rid of this mindset and enjoy the company women based on their intellect, humor, sincerity, their body type doesn’t matter.   The vessel of their brain, their heart is just what it is.  Stop comparing your vessel to theirs and surround yourself with those that celebrate the community of differing women rather than tear it apart.

3.  Heroines are among us. Lessen your admiration or envy of those we see on TV or within our magazine pages to those women who we see everyday.  Admire the mother (your mother) who cares for her children while working inside or outside of  the home, or the friend who is always there for you. 

4.  Self talk is just as damaging  as words we hear from others.  Be conscious of what you say to yourself.  Accentuate your positives. Remind yourself of what you most appreciate about who you are.

5.  Finally, take a chance in not only talking the talk but walking the walk.  Appear self confident and you become self confident.  When you have one of those days of self doubt, self loathing (which we still do from time to time) put your back up straight, a smile on your face and celebrate the woman you are.

I want to close with this quote from Drew Barrymore which I think offers us a perspective on enjoying the best that we can be.  “The older I get, the better I get.  Gravity and wrinkles are fine with me.  They’re a small price for the new wisdom  inside my head and my heart.” Learn to love  you!